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Moving On With Life! 

Thinking Out Loud:  Moving On With Life!

   In one way or another, everyone is bound to face grief.  Anyone can lose someone near and dear, like a relative, a close friend, or a pet, because death is part of life.  To better understand grief, one must look at is as a multifaceted response.  It affects the emotion and other areas as well.  Psychologically, grief can also bring about social, philosophical, and physical reactions. 
   Just say that someone in the family accidentally died.  The lamenting family may show signs of strong emotions like anger and sadness.  Physically, they may become dumbfounded or speechless.  Inability to sleep and nausea can also be apparent.  Socially, the bereaved can withdraw themselves from the crowd.  Philosophical reactions on the other hand have something to do with the individual beliefs or religion of the bereaved.  It can either be a religious conviction or a stronger and renewed faith. 
   Grieving can happen to a friend, to a big time celebrity, to your neighbor, or to you.  To survive grief and move on with life, here are recommended three helpful tips: 
   Understand The Normal Process Of Grief!  Kubler-Ross named the five stages of grief.  Surely, people go through serious and significant loss.  However, there are times when they get stuck in one of the first four stages.  Of course, life can be painful after a loss.  But after the last stage, which is acceptance, one can move on with life.  The five stages of grief are as follows: 
   First stage: Denial and Isolation; Second stage: Anger; Third Stage: Bargaining; Fourth stage: Depression; Fifth stage: Acceptance. 
   It is a must to learn that loss and death can affect people differently.  Though it is hard, it is important to move on and to accept that death is a fact of life.  To accept loss, release the pain.  If there’s anything that you should keep, keep the good memories. 
   Find Support Groups and Friends Who Can Help You!  True friends will stick to you through thick and thin.  Rely on true friends.  Find comfort and solace in their kind words and deeds.  Some will try to uplift your spirit by sending you consoling words and quotes that can inspire you and help pull you through.  However, be careful and keep away from people who disguised themselves as friends.  They are the ones who will entice you to try drugs and alcohol.  These people are a bad influence.  You should not run to them for comfort; instead these are the people you should get away from.  Keep in mind that drugs and alcohol are not the best solutions to what is happening to you.  They can only provide temporary relief, and they can only delay your grieving.  And you wouldn’t want that. 
   Engage in Healthy Activities!  They say that the devil’s playground is found in the idler’s mind.  Do not just bum around the house; doing nothing.  Yes, for the first few days, it is understandable to withdraw yourself away from people.  However, it is not the end of the world, so find and engage in healthy activities that can preoccupy you, like gardening at home and going to church.  These activities can also help you realize that life is a gift and that everything happens for a reason.  Try to find meaning and purpose in your life. 
   Grieving is difficult, but people have survived.  If you are experiencing grief at the moment and you wish to get back to life, you can.  Be positive and stay strong.  Hold on to your faith and consider the tips above.  Remember that life is too short to be miserable!  Your decision today can change what has happened to you and what will happen to you in your future.  You make the call!   Go for it! 
John T. Catrett, III 
Scissortail Hospice Chaplain 
306 North Main Street, Suite E
Bristow,OK 74010

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