Thinking Out Loud: Forever Changed by Grief!
Grief is defined as “intense mourning.” Grief, a lifetime journey, not a fleeting moment in time. Your child is gone; there is nothing you can do to bring him/her back. So, for the rest of your life, you grieve for that child. You grieve the fact that you’ll never see them again, never share a moment together again or be able to hug them close, play ball with them, see them graduate, marry and perhaps have children. The pain at first is indescribable. You’re not sure you can survive. You’ve gone through some horrible things in life, but this loss of your child, the most important person in your life, is unbearable.
With time, love, patience from others, and perhaps counseling and therapy, the pain will ease, but it will never go away. Don’t expect it to. Your heart has been ripped in two, a part of it torn from you, and you will never to be normal again. Even when you find your new normal down the road, the grief will stay buried deep down, not visible for people to see. You alone will know it is there. You alone will know you need to find a new normal if you are to survive. You will always miss your child, love them, and mourn for what might have been. But now you must push forward even though you know you have changed forever.
… It has made me more conscious and empathetic of others and their problems.
… It has empowered me to do things that before the death I wouldn’t even consider doing.
… It has taught me to stand up for what I believe in and help others do the same.
… It has forced me to change my goals in life.
…. It has shown me not to be afraid of crying when appropriate, because I know grief is my constant companion.
… It has given me new priorities in life.
… It has made me brutally honest with everyone and everything that I now see from a different point of view.
… It has made me acknowledge that everything that happens in this world has a reason. We may not know what that reason is immediately, but eventually we will find out.
… It has stripped me of everything I was before the death of the cherished loved one and led me to a new phase of my life.
…Perhaps grief is the price you pay for loving someone with every fiber of your being.
John T. Catrett, III
Scissortail Hospice Chaplain
306 North Main Street, Suite E