Thinking Out Loud: Bewildered!
Thinking Out Loud: Bewildered!
Love and life are funny things that often bewilder us, creating feelings within our body that are not really caused by any physical injury. Heartbreak is a good example. Heartbreak is not a pain caused by a physical injury, but is an emotionally generated pain to the heart. The pain we feel is teal and is triggered, in part, by our mind. What about that chemistry that jazzed the both of you when you first met? Then you wonder, “what more?” Just as suddenly as the juices flowed, you find yourself running, laughing, playing, and enjoying a budding relationship. You can’t believe you could be so lucky! You think about this miracle that came into your life throughout each day. You feel the energy in your body inspiring your life. You feel so alive! You know all of this, though, and you realize you have to get through each day, keeping balance and perspective so you don’t neglect other areas of your life. Too bad about that, really; it would be great to just walk off into the sunset and not have to worry about the realities of life for a while. “Give us some time” I’d say, knowing that in time, we’ll both come back to the planet looking to explore other avenues of our lives. Let’s get back to reality, though.
Now, I can only speak for myself and others like me. I don’t fall in love to just walk away. Yet, too often, that is what we are required to do. As compatible as a relationship might feel or seem, timing could be everything. Someone’s distortion could have their values out of whack. Knowing the inner qualities of each other, you could have even been certain that you’d never be dropped for material reasons. This love, this woman, or this man, is deeper than that. It’s there, in all the journals, in every conversation, in the eyes, and the vision for the future. Then life shows up and serves some humble pie.
Bad things happen to good people all the time. Someone is struck ill with a serious disease, and before long the retirement savings are gone. The recovery can take months, or even years, if at all–for some. The physical toll can be too great for some people to handle. The emotional stamina required to endure the trials may be too costly to another. The financial strain may threaten a required sense of security for others. For the person it is all happening to, it can have a profound and life-changing impact.
Deep loss is experienced as an old identity passes away and a new identity comes into being. Death and birth, experiences equally bound in both pleasure and pain. Not just a physical death, but a psychological death. Not just a physical birth, but also a spiritual birth. Some people end up lost in the bottom of a bottle, while others’ stab out their misery with a needle; both scenarios leading to more misery and death. These are just examples; the scenarios are limitless. Some recover, some don’t. Death isn’t the only thing that can kill you.
In spite of what we see on the streets and played out in the drama of each other’s lives, miracles still happen all the time. These miracles happen even through the loss–and even in spite of loss. Someone may truly be gone forever, and yet, someone else is saved as a result. Could illnesses miraculously disappear, leaving no trace of ever having been there? Financial ruin could bring two closer together, empowering and strengthening beyond what each could do individually. Important changes in society could come about as lives are radically changed through tribulation.
Too often judgment is heard spilling from lips of those who don’t know or are arrogant. If you’ve ever fallen, why would you laugh at another who has fallen? You remember what it was like. You understand the pain and even the embarrassment you felt. You remember the judgment from others. Everybody hurts, sometimes. Judgment, ridicule, laughter, and self-righteousness are uncomfortable disguises of your own frailty. Bad things happen to good people all the time. It could happen to you. This is uncomfortable to admit. It recognizes your powerlessness to control every aspect of living your physical life on earth. You only control your response, your reaction, your attitude.
As for the hurt that comes with the human experience, the shift in perspective can help us view emotional pain as a good thing. The ache in the heart chakra is a blessing of your aliveness. It affirms your divine capacity to love another being. The ache that comes with the turmoil of disappointments affirms your love of self. The ache that comes with betrayal in society affirms your connection and love to your fellow beings. You are a divine creature living in a physical world. Lifting the veil, seeing your own inner spirit, you will experience and observe and learn to be with the aching emotions. Make that your challenge–to ‘be with’ the pain and witness it as a good experience. Shift your perspective to see that your spiritual being is embracing each experience and will rise above each experience.
This brings me full circle, right back to heartbreak. Don’t run away from love. Don’t run away from loving another. Run away from fear. Run away from doubt. There is power in love, and it is the only thing that you have in life that cannot be taken away. Health: Who knows when, if, what, or why? But you could be hit. Money: That balance sheet is all over the place and depends a lot on other circumstances that may be beyond your control. And what will you give up for that? Too many look for the bling without really seeing the stars. If you’rewondering where to look, try to look deeply into the eyes of another.
John T. Catrett, III
Sissortail Hospice Chaplain
306 North Main Street, Suite E
Bristow, OK 74010
918.352.3080